Plan to be more spontaneous in a relationship
With the best will in the world, it is hard to be more spontaneous in a relationship. Even when you know it is what your partner really wants.
Lack of spontaneity is one of the top complaints in relationships that are starting to feel stale. It is easy and natural in the early days of a relationship to try new and exciting things. To take the time to surprise your loved one with a trip or a gift. But as real life starts to kick in and responsibilities rear their ugly heads, making time for your relationship can become a challenge.
Routine and that lack of excitement can set in very quickly. But the demands on our time is so great these days. It is so hard to find time in a busy life spent juggling work commitments, children, friends and family to squeeze in some spontaneity.
And this is why it is important to plan to be spontaneous. I know, I know, it sounds counterintuitive. Surely, I hear you say, spontaneity is all about doing something off the cuff. No planning required.
Well I don’t think I agree with that. I think it is more about doing something unexpected. Not necessarily doing something when someone doesn’t expect it. So carve out some time to do something that partner won’t see coming – it can be something simple like planning to watch the sun set together, or making their favourite meal.
Doing something your partner is not expecting may feel uncomfortable for you. We all like the familiar. But pushing yourself slightly and allowing that slight feeling of discomfort might open up your eyes to living life more fully. I’m not suggesting you go bungee jumping straight away – but you could build up to it slowly!
Rope in a friend
If you are serious about pushing yourself out of your comfort zone into the world of spontaneity – make yourself accountable. Tell a friend what you are doing and ask them to help you by checking in with you every now and again.
Write a ‘how to be spontaneous’ list
The worst thing that can happen is you run out of ideas. So make a list. Who doesn’t love a list (or is that just me!).
Google ideas for how to be spontaneous in a relationship. Ask friends. Quiz your partner (without them realising obviously. Here are 5 things I found when I googled:
- Go on a city break
- Take an exercise class together
- Learn a new language
- Do a bake off
- Have a games night (board games!)
Your tribe becomes your vibe
Spontaneity is contagious. Positively cultivate friends who like to do things on the spur of the moment and who like surprises. Avoid being around people who crush your creativity and your zest for life.
Whatever you do – don’t worry about how it will all work out. It doesn’t really matter what the outcome is. Your partner will love the fact that you are making the effort to be more spontaneous. And that’s what it is all about.
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